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Out of comfort zone

I love challenging tasks, but whenever I have to confront something new, I get a bit panic.  Continue reading

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Long time no see then

How stupid I am! Or it’s just the matter of time, when I ignore the thought of continuing with my 2 websites for so long, and that’s how I can easily forget the name of my English blog.

Glory of the Sun is far too significant, but it’s extremely challenging to describe it by words or pencils exactly. This is totally the same as my own situation right now.

Both of us, once being so damn rapt in our passions, but now, things have changed dramatically. All we need to do is merely keeping running, for something really vague. If the future can be foreseen, what will happen? Will the lives be much easier? Or far more painful?

“How beautiful is this life. How painful is this life.”

At times, I felt so bored, and all I needed was committing suicide. If I had done it, it would apparently have come as a terrible shock to everyone around me, I bet. How can I make sure such incredible fact? In that I always maintain my optimistic facade, no one can see through my white lies (so foolish, or they just don’t care).

I manage to stay sensible, strong-minded and humorous. But there was no one that could know there was something had broken deep inside me. I myself even don’t know what’s wrong with me, so how can I expect the others to understand? I didn’t give a fuck tho.

Hopefully, I din’t do anything crazy. I am still I am now. Keep on moving. Stay high for my high goals. Just that.

Please save my memory.

 

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At the beginning

I have neglected this website (Ah, nah, not only this site, but the others also) for so long. I was distracted to so many other stuff, which is such an awful pity. I was way too weak, fragile and vulnerable. I didn’t expect to be like this, yet I was still susceptible to those damn things. I don’t know why I did commit such regretful mistake, oh…

This time is the beginning of a new day (30.11.2017). Whilst the others are sleeping, I keep awake and stay sensible to write those words. There’s not much time left, so I need to hurry up. I, therefore, may compensate for what I have done wrong.

Making mistakes is inevitable, especially when I am just an inexperienced and young adolescent, right? But I can’t forgive myself for making the others upset about me. I don’t care whether my strengths overshadow my weaknesses or not, I just care about the fact that I need to perfect everything in order to make up for my sordid past.

Deep into my train of thoughts, I can’t help worrying. Overlooking a staggering number of flaws, straying from my perennial path, and so on. I’m scared of looking back to the bygones. Ok, let bygones be bygones.

After recuperating from some sorts of mental breakdown, I feel myself full of beans. Vivacious, dynamic and vigorous, are just about my facade, not about my inner self. I hate complaining, but maybe, bottling up my own feeling did do harm to my mental and physical health. I don’t know why.

How to be a brilliant and prolific writer in the future? The forthcoming event is far to subtle that I can’t no make out if I am on the right track or not. But the only thing I know for sure is to do everything with 100% of concentration. I must be “accomplished” before my beloved elderly pass away. They must savor the moments when they see me be brave and glorious, if not, I will live alone until I die.