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At the beginning

I have neglected this website (Ah, nah, not only this site, but the others also) for so long. I was distracted to so many other stuff, which is such an awful pity. I was way too weak, fragile and vulnerable. I didn’t expect to be like this, yet I was still susceptible to those damn things. I don’t know why I did commit such regretful mistake, oh…

This time is the beginning of a new day (30.11.2017). Whilst the others are sleeping, I keep awake and stay sensible to write those words. There’s not much time left, so I need to hurry up. I, therefore, may compensate for what I have done wrong.

Making mistakes is inevitable, especially when I am just an inexperienced and young adolescent, right? But I can’t forgive myself for making the others upset about me. I don’t care whether my strengths overshadow my weaknesses or not, I just care about the fact that I need to perfect everything in order to make up for my sordid past.

Deep into my train of thoughts, I can’t help worrying. Overlooking a staggering number of flaws, straying from my perennial path, and so on. I’m scared of looking back to the bygones. Ok, let bygones be bygones.

After recuperating from some sorts of mental breakdown, I feel myself full of beans. Vivacious, dynamic and vigorous, are just about my facade, not about my inner self. I hate complaining, but maybe, bottling up my own feeling did do harm to my mental and physical health. I don’t know why.

How to be a brilliant and prolific writer in the future? The forthcoming event is far to subtle that I can’t no make out if I am on the right track or not. But the only thing I know for sure is to do everything with 100% of concentration. I must be “accomplished” before my beloved elderly pass away. They must savor the moments when they see me be brave and glorious, if not, I will live alone until I die.

 

 

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